Laundry Masters Unite

I did it! I actually achieved the seemingly unachievable. I share this accomplishment in hopes that my successes are of encouragement to others out there who have a dream. Never, ever give up.

The laundry is done! I mean all of it…and at the same time.

It has been almost ten years since I had every piece of laundry in our house clean at the same time. Ten years of never-emptying baskets. I got close a couple of times when I thought it was all done, and I would find a straggler sock under one of the kids’ beds. I got over the heartbreak of being so close, so many times, and I had almost resigned myself to the fact that it was never going to happen.
That was until, as if inspired by a greater good, I found the motivation to continue pursuit of my dream.

It started a few weeks ago, and each week I have built up my efficiency. One week I did a load a day, but I quickly realized that there was always a load waiting for me by the end of the day. I tried the Monday laundry day approach, but there was too much going on in the house and the clothes that were folded that day were not put back in drawers until Friday. With the one day of laundry method I was too tired to put all the clothes away at the end of the day and I had piles of dirty laundry waiting for the clean clothes to leave the baskets they occupied. So I was forced to do something drastic…but sometimes crazy works.

I woke up at 4:30 in the morning, armed with a plan and a decision that I was not going to be denied. I went to gather the clothes from everyone’s baskets to put the plan in motion. As soon as everyone was up and ready for school and work, I stripped the beds and sheets and spent the rest of the day washing those things. I put the clothes away as they came out of the dryer and when everyone returned to the house I could not stop the momentum of my goal and I simply took the clothes right from the kids’ arms and legs.

The kids eyes of anxious anticipation was surprising, but I know that they are just too proud to speak. They can’t believe that I would go to all this trouble to keep their clothes clean for them, and it leaves them with awestruck admiration. Nate even tried to call 911… I’m sure to announce the good news that I had accomplished my laundering goals, but I modestly told him, as I wrestled the phone from him, that he need not make such a big deal of it. As the children hid in their rooms, with strict instructions not to touch the sheets or covers, for fear my nearing achievement would be thwarted, I waited for my husband to contribute his threads to the last load. He didn’t seem to have any trouble giving me his clothes, but I think he thought I was after something else. Huh? Go figure.

Anyway, I just finished pulling out everyone’s clothes from the dryer and putting them away. I have bribed the kids to stay without clothing for just a few minutes while I celebrate this victory. I just showered…air drying so that I wouldn’t dirty a towel, and now this celebration can commence.

If you would, could you indulge me for just a moment? Let’s toast a cup of coffee to this grand occasion. I am, admittedly, dressed. It is a clean outfit against my clean skin, and I am shivering with anticipation for this momentous occasion. I am lifting my glass….Won’t you? I am trying hard to contain my enthusiasm…

Oh crap! I just spilled all over myself....

(Side Note: No children were harmed in the fictional creation of this story. They have never gone naked in pursuit of an impossible laundering goal…and, since the arrival of our third child, I have never actually finished the laundry)